I haven’t been able to say much to most people lately. I legitimately have nothing to say to them. Its like my insides have a gag order placed on them by my personal judicial system and I’m not entirely why. Everywhere I look I see a contradiction. I see “students” teaching. People who don’t know enough about anything attempting to inform others about everything. I’m often amused and sickened by their pedagogy, a pompous display of condescension and hypocrisy, the blind teaching the blind how to see.
So I turn my speculation to me. I have been told “Bryce, I know you think you’re different, but you’re really not, I know a lot of niggas that act just like you.” Confusingly I’ve also heard “man, I’ve never met anyone like you.” Truth be told, I’m not so convinced there are that many similarities between any two people. In the world of traits and characteristics we tend to give people “macro” associations by saying they’re “intellectual.” However, intellect can be in any one of a many fields and can even be further delineated to calculating, logical, academic, adept etc. If you were to extract then refine down to the smallest particle of every human being, there would be oceans of difference amongst even the closest of friends.
But back to my self evaluation, am I a blind individual leading the blind? I wouldn’t think so, however, if I were to ask that question to anyone else most would say they aren’t either. So it isn’t really something that can be objectively or truthfully self-answered. I make a general statement “I am different” and the world I am claiming to be different from will clamor with those also saying “I am different”. It becomes an eddy within the ocean of discourse. These eddies pop up everywhere, places where human stupidity meets and swirls.
So can I ever be truly trusted in my own self evaluation? Can I even trust those who already know me? Can anyone’s opinion be truly trusted in a time and place where our egocentric existences don’t allow us to truly see ourselves?
What is knowledge without wisdom? What is wisdom without application? Self righteousness plagues us all. It is the belief that if someone dislikes us, its simply their fault. That they’re jealous or have secretly wanted to be us. Self righteousness is walking into a mall and automatically believing that your style choices supersede everyone around you thus giving you a license to judge. Self righteousness is proverbially believing your own hype. That you outshine everyone and everything. You will make exceptions for yourself. Oh its okay for you or your friends to act like bitches towards someone, but should someone return the favor its an issue. Self righteousness believes that there are no consequences for actions. That you should be an exception to the rules.
Self righteousness is the ultimate corrosive, toxic substance when looking at yourself introspectively. If your mind refuses to look at your flaws objectively, you’ll never see yourself as a blind leading the blind. You will succumb to mainstream music and let lyrics rule you. You will talk about bitches, hos, and worthless niggas when you are one. You will pass judgment at every opportunity when it is you who need the reality check.
It is you who drive away the actual wise minds who could potentially unlock the doors for mankind.