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Self Discovery: Beauty

I fell in love with her,
At a young age, she dance across my eyes,
I fell in love with beauty,
To the point where no woman could fill in the gap.
If a mere mortal could mimic my true love’s visage,
So be it,
Because beauty made me feel like a man.
Beauty made other men envious,
They looked at me with eyes green,
Mugs mean,
Most entertaining things I’d ever seen.
The scene of intimacy,
Beauty drew out my member like a slumbering beast,
Awoken for a infinite feast,
Beauty called me in,
Beauty kept me warm,
Beauty assured me we’d make it through any storm.
Those aesthetics I couldn’t attain as a young man,
Became mine for the taking,
And my heart in the hand of fickle witch,
Was hers for the breaking.
Woman couldn’t hurt me,
But beauty could.
I was an initiate cloaked in hood,
Branded and beaten,
Welcome to the Brotherhood,
But now I see that this fraternity worships an image,
Of woman without ever enjoying her,
I’m wounded and I’m imploring Her,
Then repulsing her,
Then adoring her,
And convulsing per,
Her underwhelming presence in my life.
She’s my drug.
I need more and more,
She’s my whore,
And I need more of what she has in store,
I inhale her, with every intentions of flying high,
Regardless of her manifestation I want to draw nigh,
Draw nigh,
Draws low, I want to enter her,
Know her,
Explode her,
Yet she exposes me.
As nothing more than a dope fiend,
Lurking through an alley looking for the dope Queen.

Praise be to God for the mirror.
He is the Hearer of unheard cries.
In my agony of “drying out”
I cried Save Me Lord!!!!
Although my eyes were fast looking out that front door.
To fill my body with more.

But now I usher in peace.
I struggle to remove old things,
But I request for peace.
The shearing away of the dead tissues,
I beg for peace.
Its trying to find faith in the Good Lord,
But I’m scared of His peace,
Because I still want the woman He has to be beautiful,
Yet He commands me to have peace.
So I accept the mantle of vulnerability,
Because in it is peace.
And prudence, patience, and wisdom.
Praise God for peace.
Praise God for clarity.

Praise God for healing.

FKJR

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