Thoughts: Lover’s Limbic System
When I think about love, affection, passion, or romance, I often jump head first into my fantasies. See for whatever reason as a kid, I imagined that true love would be what I wanted, not really what Disney or Dreamworks said it would be. I had a baseline for love — my parents — and from their I began creating the “perfect” relationship. Love for me is something of the order of inspirational, invigorating, enticing. The idea of a woman who I “fall” for is something too exciting for words. In a world where I find more I dislike than like, the belief that I’ll find something that I’ll love or be in love with is nothing short of mesmerizing.
This post is a semi commemoration to Mr. & Mrs. Brown who are celebrating their 30th anniversary today. They set quite a precedent for my sister and myself. These are two individuals that rarely, almost to the point of never fought in front of us. People who shared everything, money, secrets, and sacrifice. Who grew over the years. Learned over the decades. Who still chase each other around the house tickling, laughing, and messing with each other like they were 20 again. They truly embody timeless love in their early middle age.
I want that kind of love so bad that just like my obsession with my professional success, I know will come to pass. My heart and my mind are entirely too ready, my soul is doing all that it can to prepare space to embrace another. My spirit is in constant prayer and thanks to God, because he knows that He has already chosen her and her entrance will be glorious. I have a lot to offer and I need a lot in return. I know and God knows that I could never turn around and settle for anything lower than my thoughts have created. The Lord and I have spent too many years in dialogue going over what’s good for me and what isn’t. I wouldn’t never be satisfied with half assed love.
The limbic system is sort of an antiquated medical term now, but it still is generally accepted as all the components of the brain that control emotion. Love & affection are of course in those components. The Lover’s Limbic system must be an extremely volatile place because only in an extremely volatile place could a relationship flourish for 30 years.
“And when she touched the nape of my neck I shuttered,
Seems like upon those lips were generators,
And suddenly my body was the medium for that energy,
She filled me — no — consumed me,
With the power of a single kiss,
Her lips. Her lips…”
The Lover’s Limbic system is volatile because it possesses energy. An energy which becomes transmuted as motivation to love harder, or forgive, or pursue. That transmuting becomes the romantic things we see our more quixotic friends doing… The moonlit rendezvous, the flowers and cards, the rose petals, the magical, breathtaking first times. The LLS (Lover’s Limbic System), drives them into a productive frenzy, a surge of emotions that can only be channeled for that person at that time.
“She changed me.
Its like… I don’t know…
She pulled back a curtain,
On a part of my heart I wasn’t aware of,
I swear love,
It makes me crazy.
I’m just happy its all for that lady…”
Yes that lady indeed. That woman who makes things happen around your seed. Her voice in your ear is mellifluous, intoxicating. Her absence, back breaking. No other woman can fill that void, like two supplemental angles. She makes you a full 180 degrees. God knows it. That’s why he created passion, for the LLS to explode in such a vehement fashion. Intimacy, the burning need for that woman, this seemingly endless craving for her is what should be inside of every husband. This American interpretation of “I hate my wife” is not what God intended. There will be tough times, extremely tough times, when you may go to God and wonder wtf he was thinking, but the electrifying kiss, the transmission of that primal, timeless energy should be with you always.
“I held her like she was a priceless gem,
Well I guess she was my treasure,
Infinite, incapable of measure.
My face on her neck like I was trying to breathe into her,
And chest softly rising and falling,
I finally saw how much I needed her,
There was something in my belly,
Not literally, but still turning my bones to jelly,
It started out subtle, like a small voice inside an old closet,
Then is rose in power,
It was like a vortex moving at thousands of miles per hour,
A violent, silent force which oscillated between her and I,
Beautiful her and I,
I kept pulling her close as if I could really make 2 flesh one,
It wasn’t lust, it wasn’t admiration,
I didn’t desire her with lasciviousness,
I felt no insipid denigration.
No I loved her — I was in love with her,
I felt it. I heard it calling.
It connected us with bands of energy.
My helper, my lover,
My equal alongside…”